Weekly Rants, Raves, and Whatever

Well, here it is the first weekend in August. The year is quickly slipping away, I've turned another year older, and we've had one of the hottest Summers on record. How hot is it? It's so hot, mosquitos are only biting sunbathers wearing SPF 40 or above! It's so hot there are actually a few people paying money to see Al Gore's movie about global warming just to get into the air conditioned theater!

Along with the heat, the St. Louis area has also been experiencing a terrible drought that has toasted lawns and caused trees to drop their leaves 2 months early. How dry is it? It's so dry ducks have been using the Clark Bridge to get across the Mississippi, kids are having to use grape jelly on their Slip 'n Slides, and towns supplied by well water are encouraging residents to only wash the "smelly" parts of their bodies in order to conserve H2O! I'm praying for an early snowstorm to break this lousy weather pattern.

*Congrats to British and American intelligence teams for thwarting a plot by Islamic fanatics to blow up commercial airliners en route from the UK to the United States. Airport authorities have banned carry-on liquids as a result of information gleaned from the terrorists' plans to use a combination of common items to create potent explosive devices. Anyone who shows up at a destination with freshly washed hair, minty-fresh breath, or lacking underarm wetness will undoubtedly draw extra scrutiny from airport security.

*Mrs MercMan and I are celebrating our soon-to-be-claimed puppy's 4th week of life, and anxiously awaiting the day our little Golden Retriever comes to her new home. The only uncertainty will be whether we end up bringing home additional pups once we see them close up and in person. So far, the hardest part has been deciding on a name. Killer, Savage, and Kong don't particularly suit a Golden's temperament, unless you're concerned about being licked to death or smothered with affection.

*Speaking of terrorists, Israel and Lebanon may be on the verge of accepting a UN Security Council-brokered deal to end the fighting in southern Lebanon. My only concern is that Hezbollah not be treated as a legitimate party in the Resolution. How does a terrorist organization get the standing to be part of the United Nations? What's next, an honorary ambassadorship for Osama bin Laden? How about an honorary firing squad instead?! How about we dump the UN and start a new organization comprised of democracies? It would be nice to know we weren't supporting a bunch of totalitarian states bent on the weakening of the US with American taxpayers' dollars.

*The nutroots have claimed victory in the Conneticut Democratic primary for US Senate. Anti-war cable guy Ned Lamont defeated incumbent Joe Lieberman 52-48%, but the lefties have been portraying this as a "Dewey BEATS Truman" moment. Funny thing, Lieberman is about as liberal as a person can be, with his one offense being support for victory in the Iraq War. Lamont's sole claim to fame is a call to pull out immediately, which will probably cost him the general election if Lieberman runs as an independent as promised. My only hope is that the rest of the Dems follow the nutroots' lead and swing even farther to the left by November. That's the best scenario the clueless Republicans can hope for, since they can't win by acting like Democrats the past two years!

*This just in from the wire services: French authorities express frustration at the new recommendations to disallow liquids in airline carry-on. Since the French people don't use shampoo, toothpaste, or deodorant, there's really not much impact at French airports. French authorities are touting this lack of hygiene as another example of the superiority of Gallic culture.

*Everybody have a safe week. Remember this immortal line from a bumpersticker spotted on a 4-wheel-drive F250 in North County: TERRORISTS--SMOKE 'EM IF YOU'VE GOT 'EM!