The "Home" Front

After spending a very long, sleepless Thursday night in the hospital, it was great to be back home with Mrs MercMan, Daisy the Golden Puppy, and Grandma Gimlet, who graciously offered to stay over and help us out during my fall from good health. I ate the best dinner ever and slept the sleep of the saved in my own comfy bed.

Saturday went pretty well, considering I was still awfully shaky on my feet and my left arm was darn near useless AND numb. I felt good enough on Sunday that Grandma was able to go home herself when Mrs MercMan's brother John came by to visit in the p.m. I guess I should have known that my recovery wasn't going to happen overnight, but such are the dreams of fools and the recently injured.

Monday morning, I got out of bed and limped into the living room to turn off the outside light and open the front window curtains. I had just flipped off the light switch and started to back away from the front door when I lost my balance and collapsed onto the floor. Next thing I knew, I had 75 pounds of Golden Retriever licking my face while I tried to figure out how I was going to get back upright. With Mrs MercMan's help, I finally got back on my feet and scuttled to the kitchen to lick my wounds and have breakfast.

After eating, I went to the bathroom, where I decided I should get cleaned up by taking a bath. You can probably see wht's coming. In spite of having just fallen after merely backing up, how am I ever going to be able to get in and out of a bathtub, especially with a game arm? Exactly. I was able to lower into the tub just fine, but after washing off, the real dilemma came when I tried to push myself up on the side of the tub. I was able to get my good leg under me, but when I tried to balance with my left, I toppled over the edge of the tub and crashed heavily onto my left side on the bathroom floor, just missing the vanity's sharp edges and still clutching the soap dish I had pulled off the wall in a futile attempt to arrest my spill. As I lay dazed and embarrassed on the floor of our teeny tiny bathroom, Mrs MercMan and the aforementioned puppy tried to open the door without smacking me in the head! Except for the pain, cursing, and damaged fixtures, it was like a scene from some slapstick comedy. By Monday evening, I had some vicious-looking bruises and was convinced I was bound to be permanently disabled if I didn't knock my brains out the first week I was home.

So far, my return to North County was less than a triumph.