Weekly Rants, Raves, and Whatever

*Bought a new TV on President's Day in honor of President Sony. It's a 24-inch flat screen to replace an ancient 19-inch Sears that was made sometime during the first term of Ronald Reagan. All we have so far are rabbit ears, so until we either get cable or sat TV, we aren't quite sure of just how good the picture is on our new set.

*I also received the videos I ordered from the New Yankee Workshop re building a home library system and a garden bench. Now all I need is a 2500-square-foot workshop and the million dollars in power tools it will take to equip it. Somewhere on the East Coast, Norm Abrams is laughing all the way to the bank!

*Jimmy Johnson won the 2006 Daytona 500 amid allegations that his suspended crew chief is a cheat. The #48 Lowe's Monte Carlo has been a consistent contender over the last 3 seasons, and some people are concerned that unfair advantage has played a major role in the team's success. You'll notice that my man Tony Stewart (the #20 Home Depot car) has not been tainted by such charges. Tony is so busy mixing it up with other cars/drivers both on and off the track he doesn't have time to resort to illegal tactics!

*Tomorrow I'll be attending a birthday party for a 12-year-old black labrador retriever named Velvet. I know that sounds a little cornball, but this dog is so well trained and so good-hearted she trumps about 90% of the people I come in contact with each day. As a good friend of mine once said, "The more I deal with people, the better I like dogs!".

*The United States has killed another high-ranking Al Queda officer. No muss, no fuss, no arguing over how to treat prisoners. It sounds like a few well-placed shots or Hellfire missiles is the answer to all our legal wranglings!

*The United States Olympic Team has had a tough go in Turin. It got especially embarassing in the bobsled competition when officials found the NASCAR-designed American sled was running a hidden tank full of moonshine. I think having the name "White Lightning" on the sleigh wasn't
the smartest move. The rebel flag didn't help either!

Blind Justice...Literally!!!

I received a letter in the mail the other day from St. Louis County inviting me, under penalty of law, to participate in the application of justice known as jury duty. It's only for a couple of days unless I actually end up on a case that carries on longer than that. Apparently, the odds of that happening are pretty slim, but it would be an interesting experience. To prepare, I've been reading "12 Angry Men" by Arthur Miller, and "I, Jury" by Mickey Spillane, plus watching all the Simpsons episodes starring Lionel Huts and the Seinfeld shows featuring Jackie Chiles!
Order In The Court!! Here Come 'da Judge!

Just Send Us Your Coordinates!

Osama bin Laden says he will not be taken alive, and we would be more than happy to oblige!
BOMBS AWAY!!!!