Tuesday, December 27, 2005

When, exactly, did Hell freeze over?

In the last two days, I have fixed the non-working gas lamp in my front yard, insulated the perimeter of my basement with fiberglass batts, cut out dead limbs from the apple and gum trees in our backyard, repaired a broken latch on the back storm door, and fixed a slow-running drain in the kitchen sink. All without falling off a ladder, being smacked with a tree limb the size of Montana, slicing off some fingers with a razor knife, or breaking a pipe inside a wall! With all this work and no disaster, I'm certain Hell has to have frozen over. I mean, I've used up nine lives worth of good luck in a two-day span. I haven't checked my astrological chart, but maybe my house, the planets, and all the other space junk out there are in some kind of once-in-a-millenium alignment (that would explain the White Sox winning the World Series, and Garth Brooks being in those Wal-Mart commercials).
Just to play it safe, I'm sitting in front of the computer with an aluminum foil hat on my head, a 4-leaf clover in my hand, and a St Christopher medal around my neck. These days, ya just can't be too careful!

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