Golden Retriever--Dishwasher Extraordinaire!

To all those who think dogs are lazy bums who lay around all day thinking of new things to destroy or interesting places to relieve themselves, I submit the accompanying picture of the world's most talented Golden Retriever. As you can see "Domestic Daisy" is always eager to pitch in and lend a hand when chores, like dishwashing, need to be done. Sure she cleans the dishes by licking them, and her shedding hair covers every scrap of free space in the house, but that's just a minor inconvenience to the joy of owning a dog that is always there whether you need her help or not.

Now, who'd like a piece of fluff-covered pie?

Cardinals in Spring Training--Daisy can't wait for season to start!

Although it's cold and snowy in St. Louis this Saturday, the 2006 World Champion Cardinals are in Florida preparing to defend their title. Daisy the Golden, the RedBirds fuzziest fan, is so excited about the upcoming season, she's resorted to carrying a ball around with her all day.

Like all true baseball fans, she supports her home team, and wags her tail furiously whenever someone wearing a "Birds on the Bat" jersey shows up on TV. But like all students of the game, she snarls and growls at the sight of a Cubs fan. She even destroyed a CD that was playing the Sinatra hit "Chicago", and attacks anyone who smells of Wrigley chewing gum.

In honor of the team's Latin players, the rollicking retriever is now a bilingual barker, and her favorite band is Los Lonely Boys. When asked how hard it will be for other teams to beat her beloved "El Birdos", Daisy answers "Ruff, Ruff!".

GO CARDS!!!!!

Have Drugs, Will Travel!

Back in November of 2006, my employer, Kos Pharmaceuticals, was purchased by Abbott Labs. Since that time, my counterparts and I have been wondering whether we would be retained by the new company. Just last Friday, we participated in a webinar where we were informed that this Wednesday, February 28, we were to stay home and await a call that would tell us if we had been hired by Abbott or were being "severed".

I had ambivalent feelings re the possible outcome. On the one hand, it's always nice to have a job, especially one where you get to drive a new car, make a pretty decent salary, and work with a lot of great people. On the other hand, the severance package was pretty sweet, with almost an entire year's salary, bonuses, and health care. Did I mention the part about not working?

Anyhoo, when the call came at about 9:30 a.m., it was my new manager from Abbott informing me I had been retained. I keep my present salary, and am eligible for Abbott benefits immediately. I get to keep selling Niaspan, and pick up Tri-Cor and Synthroid. Abbott's headquarters is in Chicago, so national meetings will be a short trip, and maybe I can sneak in a game at Wrigley. Boo Cubbies!! Go Cards!!!

The biggest change concerns my sales territory, which is a LOT different. With Kos, I covered West St. Louis County, St Charles County, and a part of North County and South St. Louis. My new geography starts at Eureka in the West, and heads down Highway 44 to Waynesville. In the East, it starts at Affton and meanders down Interstate 55 to St Genevieve. It appears I'll have a lot more "windshield time", but on the plus side I probably won't have to contend with the hoard of reps I saw in West County, and it will give me a chance to explore another part of Missouri. We've been considering moving anyway, so maybe the opportunity to get closer to my territory and cut down on my drive time will be the push we need to relocate from Florissant.

Weekly Rants, Raves, and Whatever

This is one of those "in-between" weeks. No football until the Super Bowl next Sunday, no NASCAR races as the 2007 season doesn't start until February, and no baseball 'cause Spring Training is a few weeks off yet. There is still NHL hockey, which has recently gotten a LOT better with the resurgent Blues. Still, about all there is to do this Saturday is complain about the state of the world.

*The US Congress is bending itself into a pretzel trying to oppose President Bush's plan to send more troops to Iraq while not appearing unsupportive of the military. Somehow, the pols are claiming you can call the plan a failure even before the commanding general who devised the plan gets settled in-country. At the same time, his appointment was approved unanimously by the same chameleons who are criticizing the plan. If we spent as much time fighting the jihadists and their sponsors as we do fighting each other, the war would be well on the way to being won.

*The 2008 looney season is well under way as numerous Democrats and Republicans are already running for President. We've got newbies like Obama and Huckabee, retreads like Biden, McCain, Dodd, and Gore, to the really scary ones like Hillary and Hagel. If we're lucky, somebody new will come out of the fog and actually make sense. And if THAT happens, I have some residential property in Times Beach you may be interested in.

*My new company, Abbott Labs, has announced the integration of my old company, Kos, will be complete by March 5. Sometime between now and then "Kos Nation" will find out where we'll end up: on a new team or on the street. I have to admit to ambivalent feelings. On the one hand, it's nice to have a job. On the other, I left AstraZeneca a few years back because I was fed up with all the "Bravo Sierra" of Big Pharma. Now if I could just win PowerBall....

*Poor Michael Devlin, his lawyers are concerned for his safety in the Franklin County jail after a college student posing as a friend got in to visit him. I agree he should be moved. Just place him in the state pen at Jefferson City and put him right in among the general prison population. I guarantee it wouldn't be long before he wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.

*I'm picking the Indianapolis Colts to win the Super Bowl, 35-17. I admire Bears Coach Lovie Smith a lot, and wish the Chicagoans well, but Indy's defense has played very well in the playoffs, and the Colt's offense is superb. This was a tough year to pick a favorite, and I'll be happy for whichever team emerges the victor.

*Here's hoping the families of Ben Ownby and Shawn Hornbeck get a break from the round-the-clock media coverage of their rescue. More than anything else, these folks need a lot of downtime and a lot of counseling. Here's hoping the reporters and editors can put themselves in these families shoes and just let them be.

Everyone have a great weekend, a successful and productive week at work (or play!), and remember the immortal words of Homer J Simpson on how to get by in life:
"It was that way when I got here!"
"Great idea, Boss!"
"Cover for me!"

Daisy's New Couch

After her spaying surgery, we were advised that Daisy not be allowed to jump on furniture, at least until the stiches are removed on January 4. Since our little nutball loves to launch herself at our sofa, bed, and every other piece of furniture in the house, it was a real tussle trying to keep all four of her paws on terra firma.
Fortunately, I was skimming the Cabela's (hunting and fishing) catalog before Christmas and came upon an item called "Beasley's Couch". As you can see from the accompanying photo, it really does resemble a couch, and Daisy claimed it as her own the moment we pulled it out of the shipping container.
We hope to use the couch to replace the crate now that puppy is housebroken, especially since she now fills the crate from stem to stern (or should I say nose to tail?). Ever since we first got the couch, Daisy sleeps through the night in it, and that's made our nights much more peaceful. Ahhh...no more 'rattle, rattle, rattle, clang, clang, clang' every time she moves around at night in the crate. Now that's priceless.
I wonder if they have a "Beasley's Dinner Table"?

Weekly Rants, Raves, and Whatever

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a very Happy New Year's to everyone. 2006 is about shot, so I thought I'd hit a few of my personal highlights and lowlights from the past year.

*By far, the biggest highlight of 2006 was the wedding of Gimlet and FroggieGirl on June 3. During a year of some especially bad weather, the wedding day itself was bright and sunny, with mild temps and a crystal-blue sky. The ceremony was well-done, beautiful, and quite touching, and a good time was had by all at the reception Saturday evening. Here's wishing a prosperous 2007 to the newlyweds and all the friends and family who made the day the event of the year.

*Getting to know the happy couple's friends was a close second in highlights of 2006. If you're truly known by the company you keep, Gimlet and FroggieGirl have a lot going for them.

*Another big change for Mrs MercMan and I came over the Labor Day weekend when we picked up our Golden Retriever puppy Daisy. After an extended time since our last Golden passed away, Mrs MercMan and I finally took the plunge and brought home a 7-week-old bundle of fur who is now a 45-pound holy terror. After all that time without a dog, we'd forgotten all the energy puppies possess in spades, and how many times a puppy has to be taken out (especially in the middle of the night!) in order to become housebroken. Still, laugh-a-day Daisy has so many redeeming qualities we wouldn't trade a single moment. Well....maybe a few.

*A new stadium, new players, and a World Championship by the St. Louis Cardinals. The most storied franchise in baseball (sorry, Yankees fans) added another chapter with its amazing playoff and World Series victories over heavily favored opponents. What's not to love?

*Like 2005, I spent a lot of time, and money, acquiring more tools. It's gotten to the point that people think I work at the Sears Hardware store. My prize possession is a Craftsman 2-horsepower, 150 psi, 26 gallon air compressor, along with the attendant air wrenches, ratchets, hoses, and sockets. In fact, it's so prized that it's sitting here next to me as I type this entry! Hey, it's the best-looking piece of furniture we own!

*Biggest bummer of the year would be my surgery for a detached retina. The operation itself was not that big a deal, pain wise, but the thought of losing my sight was a little "off-putting", as the British say. I've always thought of myself as a very healthy and durable individual, but that went by the boards along with my retina. Fortunately ,the surgery went great and I still have my sight, although I'm more nearsighted as a result of the reconstruction. Did I mention the doc says I'm beginning to develop cataracts? D'oh!

*Weather was a lowlight a couple of times this year as well. In July, T-storms and hurricane-force winds knocked out our power for almost 8 days, and a late-November-early-December ice storm put us in the dark another 24 hours. Luckily, our house suffered no damage from either storm, but we've developed a greater appreciation for electric lights, air conditioning, heat, and a working refrigerator. During all that time without TV/radio/CDs/DVDs/etc/etc, Mrs MercMan and I found out we still enjoyed each other's company, even while living in the basement and sleeping on an air mattress. Who'd a thunk McDonald's by candlelight could be so romantic?

As the clock winds down on 2006, my wish for the New Year is peace, happiness, and lots of laughter for all people of good will. For you Cubs, Astros, and Mets fans out there, better luck next time (but not when playing the RedBirds!).

Daisy Turns 11---Weeks That Is

Daisy the Puppy has now been part of our family for one month, and is celebrating her 11th week of life. She is growing by leaps and bounds, and although she sometimes sends Mrs. MercMan and I crazy, we wouldn't trade her for anything. She is shown with one of her favorite outside toys, a plastic flower pot. For some reason, the crazy way it rolls around when thrown, and the number of small holes available for grabbing with puppy teeth, have really endeared the pot to our crazy canine.
Daisy has also discovered rabbits and squirrels, and chases them out of the yard with great gusto. Needless to say, the bunnies and yard rats are NOT amused. She tries to bark at and intimidate the bigger (for now) dogs in neighboring yards, but they mostly ignore the new kid on the block. What really fascinates her are the Mastiff and Great Dane that live across the circle and look like horses from a distance. She only woofs at them from behind her human Mommy and Daddy, so apparently she's learning the rules of survival pretty quickly!

Bubble Boy

This photo is a little deceiving. Although it shows me standing by the Mighty Mercury Grand Marquis, I'm still not able to drive after my recent eye surgery. I've made a few attempts, but with the gas bubble in my right eye, I've discovered how difficult it is to drive using only one orb. That being said, I guess it's clear now I'd never make it as a pirate.
The good news is I am getting better. The eyesight, except for the bubble, is improving every day. My right eye is a little more nearsighted than before, but that was expected and can be corrected with an adjustment in my eyeglass RX. Compared to being blind, it's a small price to pay. I just wish the bubble would hurry up and get absorbed ASAP. I'm tired of being a human level!

Daisy at the Veterinarian's

Daisy the Puppy had an interesting week, visiting the vet's office (Howdershell Animal Clinic) three times in 5 days. It all started innocently enough with a routine visit and puppy shot. Her stool specimen showed an organism called "coccidia", which the doctor explained was fairly common in puppies raised in kennels, and was spread through feces. He started Daisy on a sulfa-drug, gave her a parvo-distemper booster shot, and sent us on our way. Everything was hunky-dory until the next morning.
On one of our trips outside, Daisy stopped to pee, then stopped to squat again, and again, and again. We figure this isn't normal, and call the vet. The office is concerned it might be a bladder infection, and asks us to bring poor puppy in.
The vet asks a few questions, does a quick exam, and diagnoses a case of simple vaginitis, a condition she says female puppies are especially susceptible to. We get an ointment to put on Daisy's... uhhh... affected area. At the same time, she recommends we bring in a urine sample to confirm the diagnosis. We leave reassured,but also a little bewildered. How do you get a urine sample from a puppy that squats down within an inch of the ground? And exactly what makes the dog stand still while you do this?
We finally come up with the lid from a coffee can, and Mrs MercMan trots behind Daisy and slides the lid under her backside just as she squats down. Eureka! Success! Mrs MM gets the sample into a small glass bottle and hurries off to the vet's in order to get the sample analyzed. Thankfully, the UA is negative.
Friday morning, a new problem. Daisy's stools are getting soupy, and blood is mixed in. Another call, another trip to the vet. Fortunately, the stool is now clear of coccidia, and there are no other pathogens found. Diagnosis: colitis, an irritation of the colon. This time Daisy gets a shot of antibiotics, a pill to soothe her intestines, special food (canned), and a form of Maalox! The vet starts joking that they're going to open a "Kyle" wing of the clinic.
Relieved that everything is going to be OK, we decide to celebrate by going out to lunch. Unfortunately, after the vet bills, all we can afford is a $6.52 tab at the local McDonald's.
Thank goodness the week's almost over. Daisy is going to be fine. It's Mrs MercMan and I that I'm worried about!

Ahhhh....the Puppy Life

During recovery from eye surgery, the antics of our new puppy have kept me from going a little bonkers after being cooped up in the house since September 7. As you can see by the picture with this post, taking care of me has had an exhausting effect on Daisy the Puppy.
Luckily, Gimlet, FroggieGirl, and Grandma Gimlet came by on Saturday to visit and break bread, and Gimlet and I went to Schnucks to pick up some stuff for dinner. It was my first real trip out since my surgery, and I started things off by climbing out of the Gimlet/FroggieGirl-mobile and stepping in a big wad of pink bubble gum! I was able to navigate around the store, although I sort of listed to one side like a one-eyed pirate due to my bionic eye.
Mrs MercMan has been handling most of the household/home improvement/yardwork chores since my illness, and is developing a knack for using all my assorted power tools. She's really enjoyed the ability to saw. drill, mow, cut, etc, etc, using various high-powered Craftsman tools, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll have to struggle to get them back once I've recuperated. Still, there's something very appealing about a pretty girl wielding a high-rpm reciprocating saw or cordless drill!

Dasiy In Her Yard

After having to look at my bruised mug on the last entry, I thought I'd post some new pictures of Daisy Mae. Mrs MercMan and I have been trying to break her from the "biting/nipping" stage she's been going through, and we've actually had some success. The dog training manuals recommend everything from growling to exaggerated yelps of pain to holding the dog down to prove dominance, but they were only partially successful. Plus, it looks pretty weird for a 54-year-old man to yelp like Little Richard every time a 10-pound puppy attaches itself to your ankle.
What really seems to be working is just walking away from her and ignoring her any time play gets too rough. Typical attention hound Goldens are, Daisy just can't stand being ignored. She is quickly learning that "bite" behavior gets her left to her own devices, and has responded with much better behavior. It's hard to believe she's only been with us for a little over a week, especially while standing outside in the rain with her at 2 a.m.!

You Should See the Other Guy!

On Thursday, September 7, I underwent invasive surgery to reattach two tears of the retina in my right eye, and laser surgery to repair some holes in the retina of my left eye. The surgery was performed at St Luke's Hospital in Chesterfield by Dr Matthew Thomas of the Barnes Retina Institute, and I am forever grateful for the skill of the doctors, nurses, and technicians who saved my eyesight.
Dr Thomas estimated that the retina in my right eye was within a few weeks to a few months of total detachment, which would have left me permanently blind in that eye. Since patients with a detachment in one eye are at higher risk of a similar occurence in the other eye, he advised repairing the less severe damage in my left eye before it could progress.
The best thing about the whole deal (beside the eyesight thing), was that it all happened "blindingly" fast. I was diagnosed on Wednesday morning at 10:15 a.m. by Opthamologist Sydney Hanish, who referred me to Dr Thomas, who confirmed the diagosis and scheduled the operation for 9:30 a.m. the following morning. By about 3:30 p.m. Thursday, I was sitting in my kitchen in a semi-comatose state due to the lingering effects of anesthesia. I didn't even have time for any drug-induced hallucinations while I was under, which is kind of a shame 'cause I was hoping to meet Elvis. Friday morning, I was at the Barnes Center for Advanced Medicine having my facial skin removed along with the post-operative bandages and eye patch. As you can see from the photo, my right eye looks pretty beaten up. Thank God it wasn't my good side!
I want to thank Gimlet and Mrs MercMan for being with me at the hospital and the follow-up. Knowing they were there gave me great strength and peace of mind. Just the thought of them made it all bearable. I also want to thank Grandma Gimlet for staying at our house, keeping us all going, and making sure Daisy the Puppy didn't have to stay in a kennel while we were gone. And finally, Grandpa MercMan for running me around to all those specialists the day before the operation and offering to help with any household projects that needed to be done.
To anyone who has ever experienced "floaters" in their eyes, or seen flashing lights at night without cause, don't pass it off as normal. I had more than one optometrist tell me that they were "no big deal", and in truth, in most cases they aren't. Only about one person in a thousand who has floaters ever faces the threat of retinal detachment. Still, if you have ANY symptoms, my advice is to see an Opthamologist for an evaluation. Most likely, there'll be nothing to worry about. But for that one in a thousand, early detection means the difference beween simple laser repair surgery and the invasive ordeal required to save me.

Daisy's Fine, MercMan's Not

Yesterday, Daisy had her first visit to the veterinarian for her "new puppy" checkup. This is the same office we took our first Golden, Tinker, to, so it was a bit of Deja' Vu 15 years later. Good news! Daisy the puppy is perfectly healthy. That should be the end of the story, but it's not.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been having some vision problems with my right eye that just weren't improving. This morning, I went to see an Opthamologist who discovered that I have a detached retina! Not only that, but I have to be operated on tomorrow (Thursday) or I'll go blind in that eye within a few weeks to few months. Now that's an attention getter! Needless to say, I'm gonna face the knife.

At least after all that, I got to come home and spend the rest of the afternoon with Mrs MercMan and little Daisy. Thinking of them got me through the day, and will also get me through tomorrow.

Golden's Rule!!

Daisy Settles In

After coming to her new home on Saturday, September 2, Daisy is beginning to feel really comfortable in her new digs. In fact, the bottom picture shows her just a little too relaxed on Labor Day morning after a big play session in the backyard.
On Saturday, Gimlet, FroggieGirl, and Grandma Gimlet joined Mrs MercMan and I in welcoming Daisy to North County. Gimlet and FroggieGirl brought in a BIG basket chock full of doggie treats and playtoys. There was even a bandana sent by adjunct family member Melissa, who wanted our new pup to look stylish while strutting around the backyard. The top photo shows Daisy playing with FroggieToy, which is quickly becoming one of Daisy's favorites. Grandma Gimlet has laid in a supply of puppy snacks at her house so Daisy Mae will feel right at home when she vists Grandma in Overland.
Daisy even received a fancy announcement card in the mail from her cousin Velvet (the world's smartest Black Lab) just as she was first checking out the backyard. She loved it, as well as all the gifts and attention everyone showered her with, and says to tell everyone how much she loves all the members of her new, extended family.

Daisy Comes Home to North County

Daisy Mae Kyle is officially a resident of North St. Louis County, a Cardinals, Rams, and Blues fan, and general all-around sweetheart. Daisy says Hi! to her friends Fipsy, Shmoopy, Roo, Sully, Loki, and her cousin Velvet, and looks forward to exploring a lot more of Missouri as soon as her belly is far enough above the grass to prevent excessive tickling.

Only 7 Days 'til Daisy Comes Home!

Our golden puppy, Daisy Mae, is six weeks old now, and only one week away from coming to her new home in North County. Since we don't have an updated photo of her, I pulled this image from a Golden Retriever website. The fuzzy character in the picture is Papi and he/she is the same age as our Daisy. Hang on Daisy, we'll be there to pick you up next Saturday!!

Puppy Cards!

Since the MercFamily currently has puppies on the brain, I thought I'd post a National Rifle Association Christmas card featuring Goldens and Labs. Even if you're not a NRA member, the pups are still cute!

Daisy is Ours!

This morning, Mrs MercMan and I took the Golden Eagle Ferry across the Mighty Mississippi in order to visit the farm of the breeder of our Golden Retriever pup. It was a fun drive through rolling Illinois countryside on narrow roads often lacking striping or shoulders. We finally arrived at Sievers Kennels, and with the help of owners Gary and Gina, picked our little Daisy from a gorgeous litter of Goldens.
We still have to wait a couple weeks to pick her up so she can be with her Momma and littermates the recommended 7 weeks. She's been chipped, so we can identify her from her siblings, and can't wait to bring her home for good. Unfortunately, we only had a film camera, so we don't have pictures, but the Sievers promised to get some updated shots on their web as soon as possible.
Sleep tight, little Daisy, and get bigger and stronger every day. Know that your human Mom and Dad already love you and can't wait to have you with us all the time!

Our Golden Puppy is 4 weeks old!

The newest addition to the MercFamily turned 4 weeks old on Friday, August 11, and is beginning to look more like a puppy than a wriggley ball of golden fur. Next weekend, we go to pick our puppy from its littermates (that'll be tough!), and 2 weeks after that she'll come home to the MercHouse to stay. Updates to follow. Goldens Rule!!!

Weekly Rants, Raves, and Whatever

Well, here it is the first weekend in August. The year is quickly slipping away, I've turned another year older, and we've had one of the hottest Summers on record. How hot is it? It's so hot, mosquitos are only biting sunbathers wearing SPF 40 or above! It's so hot there are actually a few people paying money to see Al Gore's movie about global warming just to get into the air conditioned theater!

Along with the heat, the St. Louis area has also been experiencing a terrible drought that has toasted lawns and caused trees to drop their leaves 2 months early. How dry is it? It's so dry ducks have been using the Clark Bridge to get across the Mississippi, kids are having to use grape jelly on their Slip 'n Slides, and towns supplied by well water are encouraging residents to only wash the "smelly" parts of their bodies in order to conserve H2O! I'm praying for an early snowstorm to break this lousy weather pattern.

*Congrats to British and American intelligence teams for thwarting a plot by Islamic fanatics to blow up commercial airliners en route from the UK to the United States. Airport authorities have banned carry-on liquids as a result of information gleaned from the terrorists' plans to use a combination of common items to create potent explosive devices. Anyone who shows up at a destination with freshly washed hair, minty-fresh breath, or lacking underarm wetness will undoubtedly draw extra scrutiny from airport security.

*Mrs MercMan and I are celebrating our soon-to-be-claimed puppy's 4th week of life, and anxiously awaiting the day our little Golden Retriever comes to her new home. The only uncertainty will be whether we end up bringing home additional pups once we see them close up and in person. So far, the hardest part has been deciding on a name. Killer, Savage, and Kong don't particularly suit a Golden's temperament, unless you're concerned about being licked to death or smothered with affection.

*Speaking of terrorists, Israel and Lebanon may be on the verge of accepting a UN Security Council-brokered deal to end the fighting in southern Lebanon. My only concern is that Hezbollah not be treated as a legitimate party in the Resolution. How does a terrorist organization get the standing to be part of the United Nations? What's next, an honorary ambassadorship for Osama bin Laden? How about an honorary firing squad instead?! How about we dump the UN and start a new organization comprised of democracies? It would be nice to know we weren't supporting a bunch of totalitarian states bent on the weakening of the US with American taxpayers' dollars.

*The nutroots have claimed victory in the Conneticut Democratic primary for US Senate. Anti-war cable guy Ned Lamont defeated incumbent Joe Lieberman 52-48%, but the lefties have been portraying this as a "Dewey BEATS Truman" moment. Funny thing, Lieberman is about as liberal as a person can be, with his one offense being support for victory in the Iraq War. Lamont's sole claim to fame is a call to pull out immediately, which will probably cost him the general election if Lieberman runs as an independent as promised. My only hope is that the rest of the Dems follow the nutroots' lead and swing even farther to the left by November. That's the best scenario the clueless Republicans can hope for, since they can't win by acting like Democrats the past two years!

*This just in from the wire services: French authorities express frustration at the new recommendations to disallow liquids in airline carry-on. Since the French people don't use shampoo, toothpaste, or deodorant, there's really not much impact at French airports. French authorities are touting this lack of hygiene as another example of the superiority of Gallic culture.

*Everybody have a safe week. Remember this immortal line from a bumpersticker spotted on a 4-wheel-drive F250 in North County: TERRORISTS--SMOKE 'EM IF YOU'VE GOT 'EM!